Category Archives: Humour

No, not noise… Well not yet…

He is hard to see as he has no high-vis clothing for the roadworks he is working at, but you may just be able to make out that he opens the tar boiler on his lorry with his unprotected hands. A lorry that is also carrying half a dozen cylinders of propane and is parked under a nice combustible autumn tree. He bends right over the open boiler peering in, putting his unprotected face and eyes right over the boiling tar, inhaling the carcinogenic smoke and fumes deeply without any respiratory protection.

The sign opposite entreats folk not to make unnecessary noise. Unnecessary noise could include coughing as the fumes choke one or screaming as the boiling tar suddenly bubbles and explodes over one and the lorry and half the street catch fire and exploding cylinders launch across the street to kill the early morning diners at the McDonalds opposite and fly into the skies to rain down like cruise missiles on the local area.

Overly dramatic? Maybe, but in the UK a tar boiler van carrying propane cylinders did catch fire and the cylinders did fly like missiles, into a local shopping centre a quarter mile away, and into the school opposite where the van was parked, killing an 11-year-old boy, and it was caught on video which is used in training sessions which I have attended.

not noise

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Safety highlight

Live working at height. Let’s just take the light apart while it’s still live. Live working is of course the last resort allowed by law, not the default way to replace the bulbs to make sure they are working without having to re-energise. They did several as I watched. Matey walked directly underneath, so as to feel part of the risk I suppose. Presumably they have not heard of the Electricity At Work Regulations or the Work At Height Regulations. Anyway they kept us amused as we paused for a coffee on our journey, somewhat appositely to attend a funeral.

Live work

 

Entourage

Entourage – it’s what they call those funny cut-out people in architectural renderings of things they might build.

Some of the cut-outs available really make you wonder though…

For instance you might ask where your energy drink came from, and what makes your kids hyperactive, and just what you neighbor is into. Wonder no more, the Entourage people reveal all. Now you just wish you hadn’t asked. These architectural cut-outs are REAL and available and are all from the SAME set.

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Protest

I am protesting against lazy use of English language.

I will not “Protest lazy English” because that phrase is an example of the lazy English language usage that I am protesting against.

The problem with using the verb “To protest” without any qualification, is that you don’t know whether it is a protest against, or a protest for the matter.

“People are protesting wages.” Does it mean people are protesting against low wages, against high wages, for higher wages, for lower wages, or simply for or against having wages at a all. The sentance is wholly inadequate.

Cut-down telegraphic intransitive twitter-squeeze-to-fit Americanese verb-use is deeply annoying to me. I should write someone about it. LOL (in Britain we write to someone – well at a least for now, until the laziness reaches us on that one).

Another linguistic laziness I really dislike is the contraction of “cause for concern” (which was the only way you could say it back in the day) to “concerning.”

“That is really concerning me” NO! This is ambiguous because it doesn’t tell me if it causes me worry or if it is a matter that is applicable to me, or both!

“That is a really giving me cause for concern” YES!

At the rate lazy language is spreading in the UK it will devolve back to grunts before you can say “Ug!” This was of course caused by the BBC letting non-public school educated people (Americans read private school) into broadcasting, so the inadequately educated became our role models. My English is not perfect, I was not privately educated, but at least I care, and I try to get it right.

I guess that makes me an elitist. Well I do prefer aspiration to exasperation.

lionreader

 

 

 

 

Elephant in the room!

Someone commented on my previous article to suggest that I am against collective defence (NATO) and to point out that NATO offered to defend the USA and Turkey. I think the answer that comment deserves expands into something more worthy of a post rather than just a response in the comments section.

The thing is, UK and US will mutually defend each other without need for NATO, as they did in WW2. US likes UK because it pays its way in defence and because it is not the source of the defence problems which actually has been (Elephant in the room time!) EUROPE all along – for instance WW2 Hitler being a European problem, one of several problems coming from that direction I could use as an example.

More recently Germany opened its doors to huge loads of migrants thus providing easy access into Europe for them on their journey towards the UK, which is where they really want to come. Ask just about any illegal migrant and you will hear that UK is the number one destination they want. That is because UK is a nicer place than Europe and even the poorest most ill-educated person in the most seemingly God-forsaken and remote places in Africa knows it, period. The people that least want to acknowledge that Elephant in the room are the Germans, but they are happy to take advantage of it by opening their doors because they know a lot of the migrants won’t be stopping in Germany but will be making their way to Calais, hoping to come to the UK. Poor old France, dumped on by Germany again… LOL.

The problem with encouraging (by having open doors like Germany) lots of migrants from places afflicted with terrorism and even more places that are simply poor but not war zones, is it makes a nice easy route into Europe for terrorists. Unlike Europe, Mr Trump has sensibly closed off migration from several likely sources of terrorists while the problem of vetting can be sorted out. Mr Trump is not afraid to ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE PROBLEMS despite the shrill bleating of the bleeding-heart liberals who are too stupid to realize that they, the bleeding-heart liberals, are exactly who the terrorists MOST want to kill.

As I said NATO is nothing without the US, the only other meaningful contributor that pays its way is the UK anyway. Germany has no nukes and France probably wouldn’t actually fight if it came to it anyway – for 43 years France foot-dragged on what it would do for NATO and so cannot be trusted to be of any use. Fortunately the UK is a far more defensible place than Europe, UK being an island, and because it pays its fair share has some half-decent defence kit, and of course a big friend across the pond.

That NATO ran to the defence of the USA was an aspect of the comment I also need to address. NATO offered to defend the USA after 9/11. Of course there was NOTHING NATO could do against asymmetric warfare terrorist acts as you can’t line up tanks and planes against lurking terrorists dispersed across several countries. So that was fairly safe offer to make. It also illustrates that where terrorism is concerned, NATO is indeed all but obsolete.

Mr Trump is not afraid to say we should fight terrorism with the bleeding-heart liberal gloves off. Shut the doors to them and don’t be afraid to let them know they will not be getting nice cups off coffee between gentle polite interrogations, rather that it will be as terrifying and painful for them as they want to make life for us, so they can be warned and know that we will fight them with whatever it takes to win.

Europe hides in the skirts of NATO and pretends it would fight for freedom, but lets look at what the German-sponsored proto-superstate really resembles. Does it look a little bit like the Napoleonic pan-European superstate that was such a bastion of freedom (not) that Britain (with help from Russia) had to rescue Europeans FROM. Does it look a little like Hitler’s pan-European superstate that the UK (with help from Russia and the US ) had to rescue Europeans FROM. Now Germany opened its doors to streams of migrants providing a route for terrorists into Europe and heading for the UK.

ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM TIME !!! Europe is the source of the threats both to the UK and to Europe itself. I would guess that at least 90% of the time Germany (include Austria) and France has had a hand in those threats – Habsburgs, Hitler, Napoleon, various ambitious French Kings, now the stupid EU wants to rule everyone and apparently punish anyone that wants to leave. Hmm, we’ll see how that turns out Herr Autohersteller.

Mr Trump is more relaxed than most about Russia. This will especially annoy the Franco-Germans who’s empires have come unstuck when they have annoyed the Russians. But let’s see if that need really worry the US/UK. Russia has always ended up on the side of the UK or didn’t actually go to war with the UK. e.g. Napoleon, WW1, WW2.

“What about the Cold War?” you cry! Hmm. Did Russia (also read USSR for Russia – much the same as far as UK needs go) actually go to war with us? No. Even during Cuba crisis, no nukes fell. Was that because of French and German troops? No. Was it because of US/UK nukes? More likely. In return for Russian help, we, the US/UK alliance, at Yalta conference, gave half of Europe to the Russians, hence the Berlin wall. It chopped an historically hostile Germany in half and kept them on the leash for a good number of decades. Now they are empire-building again – an empire called the EU. Britain wants no part of it, and clearly the US feels the same.

Turkey? Not part of the EU. Never will be. Needs handling with care as is East meets West and a geographical conduit for terrorists. But worth a decent £100m trade deal. Is part of NATO, but is useless as the threat is terrorism about which NATO cannot do anything and because is East meets West has to appease to some extent the terrorists. NATO defend Turkey offer? A bit of sabre-rattling to try and justify NATO existence. It was never going to happen and we knew it.

So, do I believe in collective defence. Maybe. Do I think NATO is effective collective defence, no. Do I think NATO EVER WAS effective collective defence… not so much really. Do I think amalgamations (like the EU and NATO) with the countries that CAUSE the defence problems (France and Germany) by the countries that have really had in the end to sort out those awful wars (the US and UK) are a solution to those problems? Poppycock. Elitist NWO Freemason Illuminati call-it-what-you-will smoke and mirrors.

Russia is always presented as the big bogey-man, this suits the elitists and especially the EU-ropeans well. Mr Trump can see what anyone who looks at the record of outcomes can see. Russians always end up on the UK/US side, against the European war-makers, and hasn’t nuked us at any time ever because the US/UK is too strong to dare, NOT because of anything Europe has ever done or ever will as part of the imaginary alliance that never fought a real war and never will called NATO.

So far Mr Trump has said it like it really is and has taken real action to set in place real effective borders.

The UK also wants real effective border control, that is one of the reasons we are leaving the EU, before we are completely swamped by the stream of economic migrants they would like to offload onto us.

Refugees go to and remain in the nearest safe country. Refugees do not trek through numerous very safe countries to get to the one of their choice. That’s the deal and we, and the USA are now planning to stick to it like we are planning to stick to real borders and plain truths about the politics of this world. We plan to preserve the cultures we have and not be taken over by hoards or different people with different cultures from far away.

We will be having effective borders. We will be sticking to the 1951 refugee convention AND sorting out economic migrants from true refugees. We will not allow the envelope to be pushed, we will not allow our countries to be dissolved or changed by people not like us from outside or by people that do not share our traditional values from within. We are resetting our society back to it root values and tearing up the envelope pushing creeping so called progress of the bleeding-heart homogenized apologists for the illuminati.

Take note its Game Over – bleat as loudly as you like, the days of the politically correct fascism of the liberals is over. Western liberals be aware, your freedom is the situated freedom of sheep protected from the wolves by a big strong Shepherd who will kill the wolf before it kills you, so get back in your pen woolly thinkers.

Arm photo torpedoes and shields up Mr Worf!

NOTE in this stream of ranty undiplomatic invective you may find some nuggets of unpalatable truth. Also, humor is required when reading this. Other political opinions are available, but not on this blog. I like European food and European people, but I don’t want them or any other foreign people and cultures to outnumber British people in Britain. I like Germany and France a lot and have visited almost all countries in Europe numerous times. I could happily be French and live there although it’s not quite as nice as Britain. However I was born here in Britain and so were my ancestors back to 1196 on one side and 1104 on the other (with a lot of European bits mixed in along the way, as like most Brits I am a mongrelized species) so it really is my country and I am exercising my right to say which changes I think are OK and which ones need to be changed back to something that I consider to be more fundamentally originally British. You don’t have to agree but note do not have a right of reply. This blog is not a democracy, it is my publication. You wanna write? – get your own blog. This is not interactive as I only post sporadically and don’t spend lots of time in a two-way process, and as I have no appetite for entertaining trolls I seldom allow comments, although really good ones like the one that encouraged my rant today, do occasionally merit being allowed.

I’m Tom…

“I’m Tom…”

Unfortunately if the internet thinks you live in Eastern England you will have heard this whiny afflicted youth who apparently got so far up the nose of his teacher that his teacher thought he could put his voice to better use in a debating society, all over your internet radio ad nauseam. Even the irony has worn off now.

Advert teacher must be an ubermensch because a trip to Beachy Head wrapped in a carpet might be more like what the average human might feel like prescribing after hearing this whingey twang for more than 15 seconds, even once.

This annoying advert has actually stopped me listening to several stations that I usually love to bits. I-Tunes/Radionomy 101 Smooth Jazz for instance. So dear radio station, having a really irritating ad might get you some income, but also cost you listeners, so it’s not all bright in the accounts department there hey?

This ad is brought to us by the UK Govt “Get into teaching” teacher recruitment campaign. Get Into teaching

If ever I harbored even the slightest notion to become a teacher, Tom is the reason I would consider a career in rest-room sanitizing services first.